9 Things You Can Do Today to Be a Better Listener
Have you ever caught yourself completely zoned out during a work meeting or while watching a presentation? The last 10 or 20 minutes a blank space in your mind? We’ve all been there. And, no, I’m not just saying that. Studies show each of us spends about 13 percent of our time zoning out. It’s true that mind wandering has its benefits. In fact, scientists consider it a crucial mental state—one that allows us to think deeply about big-picture things. But in certain settings, like the workplace, a focused mind and good listening skills can serve all of us well.
At Ink Factory, being a good listener is critical to our work and success. Active listening is the first—and arguably, most important—step in the graphic recording process. Without it, we wouldn’t be able to filter out key information, synthesize this information, or draw it. Over the years, we’ve honed our listening skills. And this week they’re being tested once again as we take the stage at Chicago Ideas Week, the world’s largest ideas festival, to graphic record each speaker session.
So, whether you’re headed to Chicago Ideas Week, a work meeting or networking event, here are our favorite tips, tricks and mental games that you can put into practice today to improve your listening skills.
1. Stop thinking about what you’ll say next.
Many of us spend the majority of a conversation thinking about our response. When we do this, we don’t really hear what the other person is saying. We’re wrapped up in our own perspective and miss their point of view. To shift your focus, try repeating back at least some of what you’ve heard. Do this before sharing your own thoughts or solutions. This will make the other person feel heard, and when you do speak, they’ll trust your response more.
2. Don’t fill the silence.
Do awkward silences make you cringe? Avoid filling them with fluff. Instead, use them to listen for deeper layers of meaning—to “hear” what has not been said outright. In psychology, this idea is called the “third ear.” Developing a so-called third ear helps us appreciate what’s driving other people, enabling us to respond more appropriately and make better decisions.
3. Beware of assumptions.
We all make assumptions when we listen. But doing this primes our brain to only accept information that agrees with our assumptions. This means we may miss a lot of what is said. Avoid making unchecked assumptions by maintaining an objective view and not filling in gaps with your own interpretations. Try this two-minute listening test to see how well you actively listen. (The results will likely surprise you!)
4. Ask questions with complicated answers.
Asking thoughtful questions during a conversation makes the other person feel comfortable and heard. But some questions are better than others. For example, questions that can be answered with a simple “yes” or “no” (such as, “Does this product have a power-saver mode?) won’t carry the conversation forward nearly as much as questions that require more complicated answers (like, “What problems will this product solve?).
5. Don’t interrupt.
Seems obvious, but most of us are guilty of interrupting more than we think. It’s because we’re all thinking about what we’ll say next (see tip No. 1), rather than listening. To avoid interrupting, focus on what questions you have or clarifications you need. Lead with phrases like “It sounds like what you’re saying is…” or “If I’m hearing you correctly…”, then repeat back an idea to ensure you interpreted it correctly.
6. Slow the conversation down.
Listening is tough for humans because we can think a lot faster than we can talk. We speak about 125 words per minute, but a neuron can fire about 200 times a second. The trick is to occupy your brain while you listen. Try looking for nonverbal cues, tap into your “third ear” (see tip No. 2) to decipher underlying messages, or think about questions you want to ask.
7. Take notes as you listen.
This sounds easy enough, right? To take notes, you must actively listen and pull out key information. The trick is finding a note-taking technique that works for you. Visual notes are a powerful tool proven to increase comprehension and memory. But if a graphic recorder isn’t present (or you don’t trust your drawing skills), try a different technique. For example, when Larry Bossidy was CEO of Honeywell, he was known for drawing a vertical line down the page of his notebook. He then wrote general notes to the left, while jotting down the most valuable details on the right.
8. Take five.
Being a good listener takes energy, focus and patience. If you’re tired, distracted or stressed, find a better time talk or meet. In workplace settings, keep in mind time of day when planning a meeting, especially if the discussion will be difficult or complex. Scheduling it right before lunch or at the end of the day may make it difficult for you and attendees to focus and listen.
9. Be honest with yourself.
How would you rate your listening skills? Think about your response, then ask others to rate how well you listen. Do the answers match? More often than not we can all stand to improve our listening skills. Fortunately, listening is a learnable skill. Start by assessing your weaknesses using the above tips as a guide. Do you tend to interrupt, make assumptions, talk too much? Once you know this, you can begin training your mind to slow down, ask questions and focus on what is being said (and, perhaps, not said).
Want to see Ink Factory’s active listening skills in action? Visit us at Chicago Ideas Week or follow along on Twitter with #CIWVisualized. And for more graphic recording tips, visit our blog.